Know Your Stars! YGO GX!
by Dan-Chan Haru-San
Summary: Its well pretty much the know your stars show thrown into GX style! plz r&r! my first attempt at a funny writing piece! YAY! Just read it, its funny.
1. Know Your Stars: With Jaden and Crowler

A/N/ well, in since I never write ANYTHING humorous, how bout a start? Yugioh GX Know Your Stars!

First up, is our own… Jaden Yuki!

"Jaden sit down in that chair in the middle of the stage," I announced. He replied back, "Yeah ok! But hurry up! I need to go take a shower soon!" He ran over with his duel disk. "Is this a sit-down duel? Uhh what AM I here for?" He looked around all confused. His brown eyes confused-looking as him.

"Jaden, Jaden… This is none other than the infamous…KNOW YOUR STARS SHOW! That's right, this is live Jaden! Duel academy is watching you! And now the creepy announcer guy that's voice trails out of nowhere, is here to tell everyone about their favorite duelist!" snickering, I ran away. "This should be fun! Here goes…"

Jaden sat in the chair as the show began. "Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…. Jaden Yuki… He likes to rub Syrus's feet!"

"WHAT? Uh… Sy is my friend and all… but I'm not THAT close to him…" the crowd laughed. "Ahh shutup that's not true anyway…"

"Know your stars…Jaden Yuki…He sure is a dumbass for trying to lie to us about how he likes to rub feet!"

"… errr… I wasn't lying!"

"yes you were."

"Were not!"

"Know your stars…Jaden Yuki…He has a secret crush on Chazz Princeton!"

Gasps from the crowd followed, and so did a scream. "I GODDAMN KNEW IT! JADENS GAY!" Alexis cried and ran away in despair. "The guy I like is a gay!" tears streaming from her eyes she ran to the bathroom.

"NOO ALEXIS! ARGH! And no Chazz I don't like you! ALEXIS!" Jaden got upset and then pent up with rage. "YOU! YOU ANNOYING VOICE THAT SEEMS TO COME FROM NOWHERE! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"Yeah, I told everyone the truth! Now you know, Jaden Yuki…" everyone laughed loudly and left.

This has been know your stars… "Wait…no! It's all not true! You lie damn you! They don't know a freaking thing about me!"

THE NEXT CONTESTANT…

"After the last hilarious performance by Jaden Yuki, here comes our one and only, Dr. Crowler! Head of the Obelisk Blue students! Heh! This will be funny!" I snuck away awaiting the funny performance ahead of us.

"Know your stars… Dr. Crabcake…"

"HEY! It's Dr. Crowler! Get it right!"

"Oh right sorry. Know your stars… Dr. Cucumber…"

"MY NAME IS DR. CROWLER! I SAID GET IT RIGHT! Dear lord, my name doesn't have food included in it!"

"Uh…yeah whatever. Know your stars… Dr. Cockhead… he enjoys raping his own obelisks!"

"WHAT!"

"Ever wonder why he looks like a woman?"

The crowd roared with laughter. Except for the obelisk blue students. "Dr. Crowler! Oh my god!" all the obelisks screamed and ran. Chazz was weirded out now. Not only by

Jaden, but even his own teacher!

"Excuse me! That is inappropriate language! Can you not see that there are children here? And no I'm not a rapist!" Crowler went crazy. The chair tipped back and forth until it fell over. "urgh…"

"Now you know, Dr. Crowler…"

"EXCUSE ME BUT NO THEY DON'T! IT ISNT EVEN APPROPRIATE FOR THEM TO KNOW IN THE FIRST PLACE! GAHHHH!" He jumped up and down on the chair until it broke. He walked away steaming.

"Thanks a lot Crowler…now we need a new chair…" Me, frustrated, went onto the stage and cleaned up the mess. "Now where am I gonna find a new chair?"

**A/N:** that's all! I know it sucked…it may not be funny but I tried. I'll take any suggestions. I wanted to take an attempt at one of these humour fics! Well, tell me how to make it funnier if needed and who I should do next! baibai till next chappy!


	2. Know Your Stars: With Syrus and Zane

"Well folks, we're back! Back to know your stars YGO GX that is! Oh and look, here comes our first contestant of today!" I scurried away and the announcer guy came back on. Syrus ran to the seat and sat down.

"Oh boy, am I on a talk show? Or is this the show where I found out the guy who was always rubbing my feet in the middle of the night!" Syrus was scared.

"Welcome to…Know Your Stars YGO GX… Syrus Truesdale… he likes to eat peanut butter coated frog legs sandwiches…"

"Uhh…what? I don't even know what that is! It sounds disgusting!" Dr. Crowler butted in. "Hey everyone, lets all laugh at Syrus! HAHAHAHAHHAAH!" The crowd laughed and Syrus was really embarrassed.

"Know Your Stars…Syrus Truesdale… he loves Alexis so much, he volunteered to hang his own underwear on the flagpole…"

Syrus blushed. "Well…I would…if there was a flagpole! And I wouldn't do that because I love her! If I did!" Alexis, sitting in the crowd went wide-eyed. "HOLY SHIT!" She screamed and ran away again. Jaden ran after her. "Wait Alexis! Syrus I am gonna kill you!" His voice trailed off as they ran away.

"Know Your Stars…Syrus… wait, what was his name again?"

"Truesdale. Syrus Truesdale."

"Know You Know…Syrus what's-his-name…" laughter followed and then they all left as usual.

"GAH!" He ran away crying, and decided not to go back to the dorm. Jaden was going to kill him! I ran onto the stage. "Hey wait…where did Syrus sit-? I didn't get the new chair yet! … This show just gets weirder and weirder…I said as I walked off the stage.

THE NEXT DAY AND CONTESTANT

Today, I came in with a new chair that had a GX logo on it! "I stole this thing… ah the hell with it! Heh!" I placed the chair in the center of the stage. "I really wonder who the next contest is goin' ta be?" I left the stage and soon came the voice. "Now where's the contestant?" Soon, a male obelisk with long dark navy hair stepped in. "It's…" the show began as he sat down.

"Know Your Stars…Zane Same-last-name-as-the-kid-before-him-that-I-can't-remember… he likes to eat bugs…"

He just sat there and scratched his cheek. "…"

"Hey…what gives! Why isn't he annoyed? The annoyance is the funny part! Anyway… Know Your Stars… Zane weird-last-name… he's so bad at dueling he makes Crowler look like the king of games…"

A "Hey!" was heard from the crowd and others laughed. Zane, however, was quite calm in the chair. "…" He didn't make a response.

"YOU! YA GODDAMN NOT ANNOYED GUY! YOUR SABOTAGING WHAT I'M FUNNY FOR!I DEMAND YOU GET ANNOYED! QUIT MAKING A MOCKERY OF MY SHOW!" The crowd laughed and then the announcer guy realized he went off track. "Oh yeah this is a 5 minute show. Know Your Stars…Zane… is the most annoying contestant this show has ever seen…"

"Thanks." He actually replied. The crowd roared with laughter as the announcer guy was the one to be annoyed!

"Now you don't know…Zane what's-his-last-name…" the crowd left laughing. Not at Zane's reaction, but at the announcer. Zane left quietly as usual. I ran in with a hammer. "ZANE!" I ran at him with the hammer. "ZANE! Sign my duel disk!" I threw the hammer into the crowd and it hit Crowler knocking him out cold. "Oops. Oh well! Please Zane, sign my duel disk!" I took it out. He stood calm for a moment then asked.

"Do you have a pen?" I dropped dead. "AGH…No…" "Sorry for you then," Zane said as he walked away calmly. "Another time Zane!" I fell back to the ground in tears.

A/N: That's all for today's show! If it was bad, flaming accepted! Constructive criticism is always welcome. Since this is my first humour fic, don't flame too much. Thanks! Baibai! Next chappy comes later!


	3. I made a DVD! KYS: With Chazz n Dimitri

"Back again! But we're a bit early for the show to begin," I said, "So why don't we show you a videotape of what happened this morning?" I got this DVD that came out of nowhere and inserted it into the machine-which also came from nowhere. "And the movie…begins. Now I need to get some popcorn." I left and the movie started.

It first showed Alexis asleep. Not much moving around…no snoring. When she FINALLY woke up, it was morning. She went to the bathroom to take her early morning shower. "Ahh…" she began to take off her clothing when she realized. "Hey wait…why is the water running-?" confused, she wrapped a towel around herself and opened the shower door. Her eyes widened. "!#&$!" Alexis had been scarred for life. At first she was looking into the warm, brown eyes of Jaden Yuki, then she looked down and…yeah. Scarred for life. She seemed paralyzed and so did Jaden. "Jaden…What are you-?" before she could ask he said, "I'm sorry. Syrus kicked me out of the dorm. I actually lost a duel to him." "wow, your pathetic." A confused Alexis replied. "But why use my shower!"

"Well…I…ALEXIS I LOVE YOU!" Jaden went beet red. "I meant to tell you but… yeah…" Alexis also went red and smiled.

"I love you too Jaden… Now go put some clothes on so we can make out. Don't worry, I won't watch you." She smirked. "really!" As she went to put her own clothing on in her room, where Jasmine and Mindy lay asleep. Jaden was in the bathroom, finished changing, just looking at his hair. "looking good Jaden…" He said as he brushed a comb through his silky brown hair. He then noticed Alexis behind him. "Er, um, hi Alexis, ready to go…make out?"

"Yeah…Definitely" Jaden took her hand and the two of them walked on the riverbed for what seemed like an hour. "Alexis…This morning was beautiful…I…" She stopped him. And in an instant, pressed her lips against hi and performed a blossoming kiss. She held her arms around him tightly and deepened her kiss. Jaden felt so embarrassed but so happy at the moment, he kissed her back. When she let go, they stared into each other's eyes. "I love you Alexis." Jaden said as he brought her into a sympathetic and warm hug.

BEFORE THEIR KISS…

Zane, Bastion, and Chazz were all sitting out by the beach. They had an all-nighter three-way duel. "Bastion, pass a soda will ya?" Chazz asked as he lay back against a rock. He caught the soda that was thrown to him and opened it. He took a sip. "Ahh…that's good soda. Thanks Bastion."

"No problem, Chazz." As the two laughed, drank soda, and ate snacks, Zane sat still and quiet as usual-his emotionless self. Soon, he noticed two shadowed figures walking by the river. They were far away, so he couldn't tell who they were. "Hey Bastion, Chazz. Look over there." He pointed to where they walked.

"Wonder who that could be?" Chazz inquired. "Not Crowler, I hope."

Bastion interrupted, "No, Chazz it's two students… They're coming this way, let's hide behind those rocks." He pointed to a pile of tall jagged rocks. They hid behind them and waited for the two to arrive. "Chazz, Zane, there they are!" They looked. One kid was short and had milk-chocolate brown hair, and was wearing a red uniform. The girl, who was taller in comparison, had blonde hair and was wearing a white and blue uniform.

"Hey, the short one's a Slypher! It's Jaden!" Chazz was astonished.

"And the tall ones Alexis!" Bastion announced.

"Question is, what are they doing-?" Zane said profoundly. They watched Jaden's lips move, but couldn't make out the words. And all that followed, was a kiss. "What?" Zane was as astounded as the other two were.

"What-? NO!" Chazz whined. "Alexis!"

"Well, they look quite cute," Bastion said with a smile.

I clicked off the videotape. "Awww… hey wait. Where's the funny? This is a humour fic! I'll find you funniness!" I looked all around. Under couches, under the know your stars chair, under the stage, under the chairs in the auditorium… "Where are you funniness?" I gave up after 46.2 seconds. "Oh well. It's obviously in the next chapter!" runs away with DVD and waits for the next chapter.

ONE CHAPTER LATER…

"We're back! This is your 'host' Dan-Chan! And this is… KNOW YOUR STARS YGO GX! Today's contestants are…well I don't know they have to come in first." I ran offstage and waited for them to come. Chazz walked in. "…Chazz Princeton!"

"Know your stars…Chazz Princeton…he really likes Jaden Yuki…"

"WHAT? That's insane!" Jaden yelled from the crowd. "I said its insane meaning, I don't give a rats ass about you!" Crowler screamed out of the crowd, "Chazz! Extra homework all this term!" "Shit!"

"Know your stars…Chazz Princeton…he comes from a family of pig worshippers…"

"…heh?" Chazz mumbled. "Its my ethnic heritage… racist…"

"Know your stars…Chazz Princeton…he's so unhygienic he only showers and brushes his teeth one day in the month…"

"I am so hygienic!"

"Then what's that smell?"

"I don't know, probably this seat. Syrus farted in it."

"No it's you."

A guy from the crowd said, "Actually, it's me. I'm eating a fish taco!"

While nobody was looking Chazz sniffed his underarm. Instantly, he dropped to the floor. Shrieks of "EW!" were heard from many of the girls. "Well, he sure isn't going to be getting a date for the dance…" I laughed. Chazz lay on the floor, and I got a broom and brushed him off. "There we go." I threw his lifeless body at Crowler. "Here Crowler, hold him until he comes to." Crowler also fell down from the stench. I shrugged. "Ah well… just leave them there. Anyway, next contestant…" an excited Dimitri ran onto the stage. "Uh…who are you?" I asked.

"Dimitri! It's time to D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Duel!"

"Yes, we all know you think your Yugi. Ok great. Now the show starts and stuff." He sat in the chair and I scurried away.

"Know your stars…Dimitri… uhh where's my cue card? Never mind its right there. Now then… Dimitri… he stole Syrus's bed-time toy because he took the last bad tasting sandwich…"

"No, That's not true…I have my own cuddly bear…" People laughed.

"Know your stars…Dimitri…he enjoys raiding Chumley's sock drawer to see if he could find toe gunk…"

"I'm not going to bother to tell you to shut up. That's just plain nasty!"

"Like you. Know your stars…Dimitri…he wishes that Dr. Crowler would love him like he does…" Crowler was still unconscious on the floor, so he didn't hear-how unfortunate. Well, unfortunate for him. Laughter was heard throughout the crowd.

"Hey, I'm not gay! And I HATE Dr. Crowler! He dresses like a freaking woman!"

"Now you know…Dimitri…Hey wait, what's your last name?"

"I…Don't Know."

"Ok then, see ya." Everyone left and I decided to sit in the chair and wait for the next day. I got bored of the chair and left really quickly. Forgetting about Crowler and Chazz, I left.

A/N: That's all for this chappy! I know…it should be funnier. Or funny. I need suggestions…I think O.o. reviewers plz review!


	4. Know Your Stars: With Alexis and Banner

A/N: This was suggested! So now I bring you know your stars GX with Asuka (Alexis Rhodes) and Mr. Banner!

I walked into the set early that day. I was too anxious. Nobody was there anyhow. However, I kept hearing these weird noises. I couldn't find out where they were coming from! Then I decided to walk over to the GX logo chair and I found Jaden sleeping on it! "Jaden what the hell are you doing here?" He stirred.

"What? Oh…sleeping!"

"Duh! I mean why here!"

"OOOH. Well, you see, when Syrus decided to come back to the dorm, and I threatened to kill him, I challenged him to a duel. I lost again. So, he kicked me out. I have no dorm to stay in now isn't that funny!"

"No! Now get off the chair!"

"Aw... ok then." He got up and walked away and sat in one of the chairs in the crowd until the show started.

THE SHOW STARTED 

"Welcome fellow duel academy students! We're back with Know Your Stars Yugioh GX! And now, while you watch the show I'll go take a nap." I ran away with a pillow and the show began. In since I left, the announcer guy said, "Oh right. Todays show stars Alexis Rhodes and…well I'll tell the other guy later." Alexis walked in and calmly sat down on the chair.

"Know your stars…Alexis Rhodes… she's so hot I goddamn can't insult her…" Jaden woke up almost instantly and whistled. "Oh shut up Jaden she doesn't like you." Jaden snapped back, "Oh yeah? Watch the disclaimer DVD!"

"Come on don't be such a wuss you stupid announcer B (EEEP). You can insult me, I'll take whatever you throw."

"Know your stars…Alexis Rhodes…she loves Jaden Yuki…"

She blushed. "Well Jaden I hope you heard the guy." She smiled, and Jaden did too. Crowler instantly butted in. "Look, this is Know Your Stars Yugioh GX, not Love Connection!"

"Know your stars…Alexis Rhodes…god I love her body…"

"You F (EEEEEP) B (EEEEEP)! My heart's set on Jaden; so don't look at my body! Don't get any ideas! AND QUIT CENSORING MY WORDS!" she was enraged. Her eyes glowed like fire. "Oh My God!" was heard from many in the crowd. Jaden just sat there infatuated - the stupid bastard.

"Ok, ok! I won't censor your words. Anyway, Now you know…Alexis Rhodes… the smoking hotty in that chair…" on an insane rampage, the broke the new chair, and stormed off.

ONE CONTESTANT LATER 

I woke up from my nap only to see another broken chair. "My god what's with you people! I had a deposit on all these goddamn chairs! You know what?" I ran to the GX Home Depot and bought a metallic chair with the GX logo on it and brought it into the set. "Hah! Now they can't break it! I'm such a genius. And it looks cooler in chrome…" I walked off the set and announced, "Next contestant, this is Know Your Stars Yugioh GX, it's your own, Mr. Banner! And Pharaoh. His cat." He sat down and scratched Pharaoh's ears and he purred happily.

"Know Your Stars…Mr. Banana…"

"Um, please excuse me, but my name is not Mr. Banana. It is Mr. Banner, thank you."

"Right, Sorry. Know Your Stars…Mr. Bonanza…"

"Hey wait, that is an old television show. I did not like it. And please, for the umpteenth time, its Mr. Banner."

"I'm so, so not sorry. Know Your Stars…Mr. Bologna…"

"GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKING RETARD! IT'S MR. BANNER! SCREW YOU AND YOUR SHOW! COME ON PHARAOH!" Pharaoh hissed and screeched and scratched Banner. "You stupid cat!" He stormed off with Pharaoh and everyone in the crowd was wide-eyed. Extended "Whoa…'s" were heard from the wide open eyed crowd.

"Meh. He's got anger management probs'. Now you know…even though you really shouldn't have wanted to…Mr. Bumblebee…" Still paralyzed, nobody left. "People, that's the end of the show, get the hell outta here." He pressed a button that ejected everyone out of their seats'. "Well that worked."

A/N: wow, Banner went crazy, and Alexis went crazy. Crazy little asses… hope it was funny! Baibai till next chappy! Domo Arigatou!


	5. Know Your Stars: With Seto Kaiba

A/N: This one took a bit of preparation, so hopefully your satisfied! Seto Kaiba and Slade Princeton. Enjoy!

I walked onto the set late for a change. The crowd seemed restless. I decided - what couldn't a few melons do? So I chucked them at them, and they decided to shut up. Hooray! "Ok, Welcome to Know Your Stars YGO GX! Well, here's your first contestant for today's show. Seto Kaiba, who took some time out of his busy schedule to sit in this chair and be insulted. But he doesn't know that! On with the show!" Seto gradually walked onto the stage with the usual look in his eye.

"So do I sit here, or what?" he gave me a skeptical, although ominous, look.

"Well, any idiot with half a brain would know that. So sit down and let the show begin, Ego head – err… I mean, Sit down and let the show begin. Bye!" I ran off the stage escaping Kaiba's wrath.

"Know your 'stars'… Seto Kaiba… His deck is so bad, he could never beat Joey Wheeler in a duel…"

"Oh please don't even get me fucking started on Joey. He's so lame; the weakest monster in my deck could beat him. So don't make me laugh. He duels like bull."

"Apparently, you duel worse! Hah! Know your stars… Seto Kaiba… He was paid to advertise for the rubber chicken costume ad and he accepted to do it…"

He clenched his fist. "Don't you dare make a fucking other smartass comment about me, you hear me, bitch? I'll put you in a world of hurt ya' pile of shit! And no, I wasn't ever paid to do something like that! And I never damn would! YOU HEAR ME!"

"Who CAN'T hear you? You always scream! Know your stars… Seto Kaiba… If he were less rich his ego head might actually look a decent size…"

"I DON'T HAVE AN EGO HEAD! AND I'LL NEVER BE LESS RICH! I OWN THIS LITTLE ACADEMY! DO YOU KNOW HOW EASILY IT WOULD BE FOR ME TO JUST TEAR IT DOWN? I KEEP UP YOUR ATTITUDE AND I WILL!" He was steaming. What do you expect from Kaiba?

"I'm not afraid of you, money-boy!"

"I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon! Kill the bastard, little buddy."

"Uh…now you know…Seto Kaiba. Now spare me and I won't…I dunno just spare me!" He held back on the attack and returned Blue Eyes to where it belonged.

"Alright. I'm out of here." He got up and walked away quietly. Once he left, everyone burst into laughter.

AFTER SETO KAIBA LEFT…

After Seto Kaiba left, we were all awaiting Slade Princeton. He would be a riot! Now if he'd just show up…

HOURS LATER

"WHERE THE HELL IS SLADE?" I screamed in confusion. "He's ruining the show!" Finally, he walked into the room only to say, "Look announcer guy, don't try to fool ME. I know all about your retarded show and how you insulted Chazz. Well that was funny. Anyway, I'm not going to stick around for it got that? Good." He walked away and I steamed. "You…BASTARD! He ruined the funny!" The crowd, disappointed, got up and left. "What an interview…" I shook my head and walked off.

"Now you know…Slade is a bastard…."

A/N: Well, that's it for this chappy! I know it was really short. Hah, Slade ruined it. What a bastard! So next is Bastion…and who? I need suggestions so the next chapter is funny! This one wasn't funny! It's DISAPPOINTING! But I had to leave it short and that was the only way… Meh, Kaiba wasn't even good. Well, bye. Suggestions…Suggestions…please?


End file.
